Wednesday, March 4, 2015

10 Things I Fear

Fear. Defined as "a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid." We all have things that bring us fear, and for some, these fears can even be debilitating. 

I wish I could say I had no worries. That I always felt confident about life and that I put all of my trust in God 100% of the time. I do believe that everything happens for a reason, but that doesn't always put my fears to rest.

Today, I wanted to open up and share 10 of my biggest fears (in no particular order). I'd love to hear from you, too, on some of your fears. Maybe we have some in common! 




1. Death of a loved one.
I did experience this recently, and it sucks. Period. I trust that she is healed and celebrating in heaven, but it still stinks for those of us left behind. For some unknown reason, I have always feared losing a loved one in a car accident. I don't know why, or where that fear originated, but it's there. So when I tell someone "be careful" before they drive somewhere, I mean it!

2. Cockroaches.
I know. They can't hurt you (but they do carry gross germs and diseases), but that does not ease my fear. I have been known to run and start crying when I see one. It's totally irrational and childish, but I just can't help it! I shudder just thinking about it...

3. Financial hardship.
I've always been blessed with a roof over my head, clothes to wear, and a bed to sleep in. We had times of trouble, and I wasn't always able to have things my friends had or to go places my friends went, but I still consider myself blessed compared to many. I am so grateful for our current blessings and incomes, but sometimes I fear something will happen and we'll have to make some tough choices. 

4. Infertility.
Spencer and I are not currently trying to conceive, but I fear that when we do, I will have a hard time. I've had some issues (that I won't go into detail about) that might be cause for concern, but there's truly no way of knowing until the time comes. No sense in worrying about it now, but it does pop into my head on occasion.

5. Disappointing people.
If you've read this blog for any length of time, or if you know me personally, you're aware that I'm a people pleaser. Always have been. As a kid, it only took "the look" to make me cower and cry (Momma, don't try it because it still works!). I like people to like me, to meet peoples' expectations, and to make them happy. I know it's not possible to do all the time, but I dread the times that I let people down.

6. Aging.
I don't particularly fear aging for myself, but more for my family members. I have two living grandparents that I feel so lucky to be able to spend time with. I also am blessed with not two, but four wonderful parents. I try to ignore the fact that they're getting older, because I like to imagine they'll always be around. It's just easier to think that way.

7. Forgetting a work event.
A large part of my job as a marketing coordinator includes events (educational, social, internal, etc.). I sometimes have a last minute fear that I've forgotten an event, or an important detail like ordering food or reminding the building to leave the lights on. Things do (and have) gone wrong, but I still never get over having those fears.

8. Anxiety.
I haven't shared this on the blog, but I currently take medication for anxiety. It started for me this past summer, and I'm so grateful to have a husband that I could be open with. He called to make a doctors appointment for me (because I couldn't do it myself) and I've been on medication since. After a few experiments with dosage, we've settled on a good one for me. I do fear that it will stop working and that my anxiety will come back. On occasion since I started, I'll feel my heart beat increase or another symptom that occurred before my medicine, and I'll start to panic. I'd like to eventually decrease my dosage if possible, not have to increase it!

9. Working alone. 
I've talked (written?) before about being an introvert, but I have found that I do better work, both at home and at work, when I have a partner or a group to work with. I like the opportunity to bounce ideas off of others, and to divide and conquer. It makes me feel more confident in what I'm doing. I do work alone sometimes, but I just feel that I do better with one or two others.

10. Wasting my life.
Sometimes I sit back and wonder what I'm doing with my life. I've never had big dreams to be famous or to go down in history. I just want to live my life in a way that I'll have some sort of a positive impact on other people. I want to bring others to the Lord and to live my life in a way that shows my love for Him. To make people smile, to make them feel important and to let them know they matter. I worry as the days go by that I'm not doing that enough.


Well, those are my fears (as I said, in no particular order). 

What do you fear? Does it hold you back? Have you been able to overcome anything you used to fear?


Until next time - - 



18 comments:

  1. I'm with you on a lot of these! The infertility thing is something I like almost every woman worries about before she actually has kids. I'm sure you'll be fine. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's true! I guess time will tell :)

      Delete
  2. I'm proud of you for writing this!! I think most of these are fears everybody has so you're not alone!

    ReplyDelete
  3. We are in the same boat in regards to most of these. A "silly" fear that I have is when I pull down the attic door a snake will be positioned perfectly to fall on me!! EEEEKKK!! I cringe thinking about it. To, somewhat, get over this fear I 1.) tell James to do it or 2.) follow the door back as I open it so that it would fall on the floor and not me. Am I the only one or did I just create a new fear for you. Sorry :/ -Casey

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha well luckily our attic "door" we have to push up rather than pull down. WHEW!

      Delete
  4. I can relate. I'm definitely scared of abandonment too and loosing someone I love- you're not alone on most of these!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Isn't it so scary! I hate thinking about it, but know at some point it's kind of inevitable. :(

      Delete
  5. Fertility. Roaches. Ending up alone (one that society focuses on more than I try to). Bar soap - yuck!! Good read, Morgs!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Replace cockroaches with spiders and you have described me! Glad I am not alone in those. Thanks for opening up and sharing with us!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. (shudder) My husband is anti-spiders, and while I don't love them, they don't scare me. So we're a good balance :) Glad I have friends who can relate with these!!

      Delete
  7. I recently lost my mom almost a year ago and it is still very very hard - that was always a fear of mine losing someone I loved very much - I knew one day it would happen just not before I turned 25 and got married and before my sister graduated high school.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh Ashley, I'm so sorry to hear that! I cannot imagine losing my mother, and at such a big time in yours and your sister's lives! I'm so sorry.

      Delete
  8. A lot of your fears are mine! It is great to find someone who fears some of the same ideas like "people dying in a car accident" or "losing a loved one" and especially "infertility" (we are not trying right now either, but I am so scared).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Girl, I'm with you. I try not to think about any of them, but it's so scary because they're all extremely possible! Ugh.

      Delete
  9. You're definitely not alone and up until I read this post, I thought I was alone. I definitely share a lot of the same fears that you do and believe me when I say this, I can definitely, DEFINITELY relate to you when I say, "ANXIETY SUCKS". I'm on a new medication for anxiety. I'm experiencing a hardship now where I was on workers comp since September of last year and because I was a temp where I worked, I lost my job because I was out too long. My boyfriend and I only have one car and it's so old. I fear that it will break down and we will be screwed for the lack of a better term. The place where I worked, my boyfriend works still and to be honest, it's not glorified in the least. It's a factory job. I pray so hard that they take me back. I reapplied Thursday as soon as I officially got released. I really can't work anywhere else because my boyfriend and I only have the one car, so he wouldn't have the car back to me in time to work 1st and I wouldn't have the car back to him in time to work 2nd and he already works 3rd, so it's a tough situation. Then there is the fact that I'm in my last semester of college and have a fear that it's all a waste of time. Besides that, I'm taking a class that is super difficult and feel like the world is caving in on me. I have a fear that I will never be in the position to have children, get married, or buy a house. Sorry if that was too much...just being real.

    I love your blog by the way! Very creative!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wow, you definitely have a lot going on right now. I'm so sorry! I can't wait to hear about the day when everything happening for you right now is just a memory, and you can see all of the ways these experiences have helped you to grow. In the meantime, though, many prayers for you and your boyfriend!

      Delete